


Look at me

by HeyHeyItsFei



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:54:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25168036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyHeyItsFei/pseuds/HeyHeyItsFei
Summary: Ruby confesses to Kanan to try and become more mature, while Kanan is hesitant because of the past.
Relationships: Kurosawa Ruby/Matsuura Kanan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	1. Look at me

**Author's Note:**

> Just something that came to me one evening that I typed up before bed.  
> Kind of a mess but meh

“U-Um.. Senpai, could you.. Wait behind after we’re done.. I have something to ask you..” Tugging on the hem of her upperclassman’s shirt, a self-conscious twintailed girl let out, sounding like she’d faint at any second.

“Huh? O-Oh.. Yeah, sure thing Ruby-chan,” a bewildered Kanan replied without her usual confident tone behind it. She wasn’t sure what the young Kurosawa sister wanted with her, but she felt like she was obligated to hear her out.

All eyes were on the pair. Even though silence filled the air, every member at training was thinking the same thing; what just happened? The shy Ruby, who is always in her sister’s shadow, following along behind her and always needing reassurance, had just publicly asked the mature Kanan to stay behind with her.

Glaring daggers at her close friend, Dia’s eyes were stuck to Kanan. She wasn’t impressed that her darling little sister had gone to someone else for help, especially with how she made a scene about it. Was she not good enough of a sister, Dia thought to herself.

The group of girls did their best to avert their eyes from the embarrassed Ruby and continue on with their training. They all wanted to stay back to hear what the helpless younger sister had to say, even if it was invading her privacy.

An hour had passed and only the pair of Ruby and Kanan remained, not able to make eye contact. For Ruby, this was normal behaviour; she was dependent on her older sister to hold her hand and guide her along, giving her a push to stand up when she needed it.

But for Kanan this was a first. Sure, only a certain blonde prankster could evoke this kind of response, but that was due to the stupidity of the situations she always found herself pulled into. This was in a league of its own. 

Her heart beating loudly, almost as if it were about to burst out of her own chest, Kanan came to the realisation; this was just like those confessions she’d read and heard stories about. Shaking her head to try erase those thoughts, assuring herself that the girl before her wasn’t the kind to try an after school confession after announcing it to everyone.

“Um.. Senpai? Are you listening to me?” Puzzled, Kanan directed her eyes to the underclassman’s face. Was Ruby really going to confess? Her own face turning red from the idea, she tried to compose herself.

“O-Oh, what did you need from me, Ruby-chan? Is Yoshiko bullying you again and you want me to teach her a lesson?” Followed by an awkward laugh, trying to alleviate the awkward tension between the two, Kanan could only attempt to make this situation as light hearted as she could.

“N-No.. It’s not that.. I would’ve told onee-chan if that were the case.” Trying to muster all of her courage, Ruby could only shyly respond, her voice sounding like she’d break down any moment.

“Senpai.. Um.. P-Please go out with me this weekend!” Bowing her head to hide her embarrassment, Ruby let out with a burst of passion. Giving herself a mental pat on the back, she kept bowing until Kanan responded.

Flustered, Kanan was at a loss for words. This was really happening, wasn’t it? Dia’s younger sister, the cute and helpless Ruby, really did confess and ask her out on a date. Pinching her right arm to confirm this wasn’t all just a bad dream, she realised that she was keeping the girl waiting.

“Oh.. Uh.. Ruby-chan.. I appreciate the gesture but.. I don’t see you that way, you know? You’re like.. My own younger sister in a way; I have to look out for you and keep you safe. That and your sister would probably have my head if we did start dating.” Laughing at her last line, Kanan was staggering to get the words to come out.

“B-But.. Kanan-senpai, I want to prove it to everyone, including you. That I’m not just this.. This helpless child that needs her hand held all of the time. That I don’t need to be pushed to do things, and that I’m my own person. Not just a shadow of my older sister!” Matter of factly, she was staring directly into Kanan’s eyes as she confessed all of this.

Yes, Ruby wanted to grow up and not be seen as just Dia’s sister, as many people would refer to her as. She wanted to be seen as her own person, with her own quirks, personality and hobbies. But she felt trapped with no opportunity to take the step forward she needed.

This was when she had started to appreciate and notice all of Kanan’s efforts; how mature she was, how gentle and rough she could be with her dear friends, and how she had a motherly aura to her. Yes, Ruby had found herself falling head over heels for this girl. And she knew this was the perfect chance to prove to everyone that she was Ruby Kurosawa, not just Dia’s sister.

Speechless, Kanan could only stand there staring at the shorter girl before her, hundreds of thoughts rushing about her mind. She did enjoy spending time with Ruby, she did enjoy seeing the girl’s awkward attempts to stand up for herself, and she liked to see her growth as a person.

But could I really find it in myself to love someone? Kanan was haunted by this question.

Due to her past experiences with Mari, the ponytailed girl felt a thorn pierce her heart every time she got too close to someone. She was just going to hurt them, she truly believed. As much of a wonderful person she appeared to be on the surface, Kanan kept telling herself that she was disgusting underneath.

Then there was Dia. She’d treated her like garbage as well, ignoring her existence as much as possible as to not bring up the past. Could she really just take the twintailed girl as her own and expect Dia to just be fine with it?

If she were to take Ruby’s confession and start dating, she’d slowly but surely end up causing pain on the younger girl, and ultimately make her own heart freeze over. What could I possibly offer to anyone romantically?

Tears running down Kanan’s face, Ruby could only watch on, confused by the turn of events. She knew that she wasn’t guaranteed to have her own feelings returned, but what was this bitter feeling swelling up in her from seeing the waterworks from her senior?

Finding her body moving on its own and soon embracing the older girl in a tight hug, Ruby knew that this was such an ugly sight; seeing the mother figure of the group tearing up like this. Speaking her mind, in a gentle manner, Ruby said, “It’s okay, senpai. P-Please don’t cry.”

The pair stood there for what felt like an eternity, the sound of Kanan’s heavy breathing filling the silence.

Having calmed down, Kanan pulled back from the embrace as she wiped her eyes. Do I really deserve this form of kindness, she asked herself. The worrying expression of the girl before her seemed to cause an internal battle in Kanan.

She didn’t want to hurt Ruby, let alone getting herself hurt as a result. But for some reason, she felt slightly at ease, seeing the shy girl put on a brave face and trying her best to comfort her. “What should I do?” She whispered, as if pleading to the heavens for an end to this strife in her heart.

“K-Kanan-senpai..” Ruby couldn’t find the words to help mend the pain, but she knew she had to say something. Anything. “I um.. Really love seeing you taking care of all of us girls; checking up on what’s going on, making sure we’re healthy, but at the same time keeping your distance. As if you’re afraid of something”

Ruby was just letting her mind speak, wanting to help the woman she had feelings for. Thinking to herself that everyone has their own internal battle to deal with, Ruby truly wanted to help Kanan put an end to hers.

“S-So.. I’ll um.. I’ll do everything I can to help ease this pain of yours, senpai. Even if you never tell me what it is, even if you try to push me away.. I’ll still do my best so you can smile with everyone.” The twintailed girl exclaimed with a concerned yet also overbearingly passionate.

Feeling her walls slowly come down from hearing this, Kanan could only nod in response. Ruby of all people is the one that tried and is content on breaking her out of this lonely prison of guilt and self doubt.

“O-Okay Ruby.. I’ll be in your care from now on.” Kanan said quietly, a smile slowly forming on her face. Not letting the brave little girl comprehend the situation, Kanan tightly wrapped her arms around the girl’s lower back and pulled her towards her.

Shocked at all of this, Ruby’s mind could barely keep up with the sudden progression of this confession. She could only nod her head in agreement, pressing her head up against the taller girl’s chest.


	2. Small and significant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan and Ruby lament over their upcoming date

The pair of awkward lovers had, after a week of nothing progressing between the two, decided it best to schedule a date on a Sunday so the girls could actually spend time together instead of worrying about their friends catching on to their secret relationship.

The night before the date however, both of the girls found themselves hitting their heads against a wall in irritation. Both of them were blissfully ignorant towards what should happen on a date, although Ruby had a slightly better idea of it due to her secretly borrowing her elder sister’s books without permission.

Kanan was completely lost; she was supposed to be the older and more mature member in the relationship, yet she was struggling to envision what even happened on dates, let alone for her own one.

Scratching her head and thinking back to what happened in some old films she had watched, couples would just walk around together window shopping, go watch a movie and eat lunch together before doing some other activity. She figured that something this simple would probably suit Ruby the best, as the girl didn’t seem to want anything too extravagant from her observations throughout the week.

Looking through her closet for clothes she could wear, she was just tossing anything that seemed decent enough across the room to her bed and would decide after she saw exactly what she owned.

She owned some dresses and skirts, alongside plenty of jackets and pants that she wore daily. Figuring that she had better try to dress up nicely, Kanan put on a white and green floral-patterned dress that fell down to her knees.

Checking herself out in the mirror, she felt like she was looking at a stranger. Letting out a sigh, Kanan spoke to her reflection in the mirror. “This totally doesn’t suit me. Feminine clothes just don’t work.” Taking the dress off and hanging it back up in her closet, she decided to just wear her standard green-shirt, jacket and pants combo.

On Ruby’s end, she was too excited and nervous to sit still. Having already picked out a plain champagne-pink coloured dress that she rarely wore outside of the house, millions of thoughts about the next day were swirling around her head.

What does Kanan have in plan for us? What will she wear? I hope things go well. These varying thoughts cycled through her mind as she rolled on her bed, hugging her pillow closely to her chest. Then her thoughts went back to the day where the two of them had agreed to an outing together.

After Kanan and herself had agreed to go out on a date, she almost instinctively found herself going to Dia for some advice. Although she caught herself before she could ask for assistance, she still asked her sister about some activities there were to do around town.

The kind and doting older sister she was, Dia did her best to tell her beloved Ruby about things around town, never once stopping to think of the underlying reason why her younger sibling would be asking something like this. She assumed it was just her going out to play with Hanamaru and Yoshiko for the day.

Ruby did want to tell her sister about her relationship, but everytime she decided to go through with it during the week, she found herself buckling under pressure. Would Dia really be okay with Kanan and Ruby dating? What would she think if she found out her younger sister had found herself a partner before her?

As the clock approached midnight, the pair of Ruby and Kanan both restlessly fell asleep with each other occupying their thoughts, excited and nervous for what the following day would prove to be for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has been sitting at the back of my head for a while.  
> Finally managed to get it done, although I plan on doing more with these cute idiots.

**Author's Note:**

> idk might do more with this if I feel like it  
> left it with room to do more at the least


End file.
